Thursday, August 28, 2008

This is pretty much the worst ride ever!

Oh like anyone could actually know that Napoleon...

What you might ask was so bad about my bike ride home from work today??? Well let's start at the beginning shall we?

1. sucks; said the rain would start after 7PM... started at 5PM right as I got going.

2. Hard rain stings (foreshadowing folks... wait for it)

3. I met unabashed cyclist at Swope Park (yes this is on my list of grievences... you'll see why later)

4. I say how about we take 79th... he says how about we take 67th... I agree to 67th.

5. Nearby lightning is scary when riding a bike

6. Wind is not fun either and vitually always blowing in your face rather than at your back.

7. Now we have time for an anecdote... The rain has slackened and the wind has also slackened. It looks like a decent ride home now. Unabashed is about 50 feet ahead of me and I see him pass an old rotten fallen tree stump sticking just maybe a foot into the road... He yells loudly "TREEE!!" Well it is hard to make out because there is still a bit of wind and he is not very close... I continue as he pedals hard ahead of me and calls back again even louder and with a note of frustration "TREEEEE!!" Well yeah duh... I see the tree it is kind of hard to miss. It is just an old tree stump that must have gotten knocked over by the wind. I can easily swerve and avoid it. I am getting closer to the tree and suddenly see a swarm of flies... ah I get it now. He was warning me about road kill. Wait these are some freaking big.... BEEEEEES!!! BEES EVERYWHERE!!! THEY'RE RIPPING MY FLESH OFF!!! YOUR FIREARMS ARE USELESS AGAINST THEM!!! AAAAHHHHH!!!!

So yeah we both rode through a swarm of very pissed off honey bees... and yeah we both got stung (I took one to the eye brow, a couple on my arm and one on my hand... unabashed got hit at least 5 times.) It was pretty much the worst ride ever. Oh and then it started raining again... hard... the rest of the painful way home.

I hope you all had a wonderful night... I am firkin going to bed!


The Angry Coder said...

Ouch! I know that had to hurt, but from an 'outside' perspective, it's pretty darn funny. Sorta like when someone else gets kicked in the crochal region... I still laugh. You did a good job of writing about it in an entertaining fashion, so I suspect you already appreciate the comic value of this. You presented your piece in a very signifcant, relational fashion yet without being padantic or obtuse.

Just a note of warning about riding through the park: keep your eyes peeled for deer, also. I have several staring contests with them in the last couple of weeks, and I don't like the look in their eyes. They could do some amazing damage to a biker.

The Irascible Neufonzola said...

Bees and hail, sweet.

You need to put antlers mounted on your bike. That way the deer will respect you. And, if you're a good enough biker, you will win contests with the other bucks. Of course they usually fight over females, so maybe not.

Percussivity said...

I've yet to see a deer on my morning ride.

The Unabashed Blogger said...

Seen some of my afternoon trips...