The Dollar: I'm not feeling well... could one or both of you guys give me a break?
The Left: Hey it's the Right that is making you work your butt off with the Military Industrial Complex. They have something like 900 miltary bases in over 100 countries... we give billions to countries all over the world and we are fighting in four wars simultaneously not to mention the ones we don't know about.
The Right: Oh Bollocks! The Left is making you feed millions who can't or won't feed themselves. They are making you work overtime by funding failed programs like Medicare and and Social Security and even come up with new programs like Obamacare. The Left needs to back off and let you recover.
The Left: Shut up! Obamacare protects those who can't get healthcare!
The Right: whatever dude... even illegals can get freaking healthcare! You guys are bankrupting our country with your ludicrous spending!
The Dollar: Umm hey guys? ...
The Left: No your warmongering is bankrupting our country with your insane HAWKISHNESS!
The Right: Obama sucks!
The Left: GW sucks! No oil for blood!!!
The Dollar: ...guysss ...
The Right: George W Bush was a great president!! Hope for change, my ass!
The Left: @%^&^@$ $^(*@ (*@ $^&^&^#!)&#$~!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Right: You kiss your mother with that mouth??? Hey what do... wait... ummm Dollar?
The Left: ...Dollar?
The Dollar: .... X-(
The Left: ...
The Right: ... Oh F&%@ !
Friday, July 1, 2011
Thursday, May 5, 2011
How to eat steamed clams
Step 1 - Fly to Boston on business.
Step 2 - Find a good seafood restaurant
Step 3 - Order steamers with fries
Step 4 - Select a clam (if the shells are closed then the clam
was dead when steamed so DON'T eat that one!)
Step 5 - Gently remove the clam from the shell
Step 6 - Remove the skin from the clam's 'foot'
(After being steamed the skin comes right off like a sock)
Step 7 - Rinse the clam in the blue bowl of warm water
(This removes any sand... though you usually still get a little bit
of sand every few bites. Its just part of the experience.)
Step 8 - Dip the rinsed clam into the yellow bowl of warm butter.
Step 9 - ENJOY!!!
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Reminds me a bit of the Federal Reserve
So this little snippet is from a comedy sci-fi book called Life, the Universe and Everything and though it comes without any real context it sort of speaks for itself. OK I will give a little context... the prehistoric Earth was in the story discovered not to have been populated through the mechanisms of evolution but rather by a crashlanded alien spacecraft full of the rejects of an alien society from a far off world and these advertising execs, telephone sanitizers, hair stylists etc are discussing their plans for surviving on this new world and building a new society...
The commentary is provided by Ford Prefect, a sort of unwilling third party observer.
----------------------------------------------------------------
At this point he decided he would not wait all day after all, he would merely pretend that the last half hour hadn't happened.
He rose to his feet.
"If," he said tersely, "we could for a moment move on to the subject of fiscal policy ..."
"Fiscal policy!" whooped Ford Prefect, "Fiscal policy!"
The Management Consultant gave him a look that only a lungfish could have copied.
"Fiscal policy ..." he repeated, "that is what I said."
"How can you have money," demanded Ford, "if none of you actually produces anything? It doesn't grow on trees you know."
"If you would allow me to continue ..."
Ford nodded dejectedly.
"Thank you. Since we decided a few weeks ago to adopt the leaf as legal tender, we have, of course, all become immensely rich."
Ford stared in disbelief at the crowd who were murmuring appreciatively at this and greedily fingering the wads of leaves with which their track suits were stuffed.
"But we have also," continued the Management Consultant, "run into a small inflation problem on account of the high level of leaf availability, which means that, I gather, the current going rate has something like three deciduous forests buying one ship's peanut."
Murmurs of alarm came from the crowd. The Management Consultant waved them down.
"So in order to obviate this problem," he continued, "and effectively revaluate the leaf, we are about to embark on a massive defoliation campaign, and ... er, burn down all the forests. I think you'll all agree that's a sensible move under the circumstances."
The crowd seemed a little uncertain about this for a second or two until someone pointed out how much this would increase the value of the leaves in their pockets whereupon they let out whoops of delight and gave the Management Consultant a standing ovation. The accountants amongst them looked forward to a profitable Autumn.
"You're all mad," explained Ford Prefect.
The commentary is provided by Ford Prefect, a sort of unwilling third party observer.
----------------------------------------------------------------
At this point he decided he would not wait all day after all, he would merely pretend that the last half hour hadn't happened.
He rose to his feet.
"If," he said tersely, "we could for a moment move on to the subject of fiscal policy ..."
"Fiscal policy!" whooped Ford Prefect, "Fiscal policy!"
The Management Consultant gave him a look that only a lungfish could have copied.
"Fiscal policy ..." he repeated, "that is what I said."
"How can you have money," demanded Ford, "if none of you actually produces anything? It doesn't grow on trees you know."
"If you would allow me to continue ..."
Ford nodded dejectedly.
"Thank you. Since we decided a few weeks ago to adopt the leaf as legal tender, we have, of course, all become immensely rich."
Ford stared in disbelief at the crowd who were murmuring appreciatively at this and greedily fingering the wads of leaves with which their track suits were stuffed.
"But we have also," continued the Management Consultant, "run into a small inflation problem on account of the high level of leaf availability, which means that, I gather, the current going rate has something like three deciduous forests buying one ship's peanut."
Murmurs of alarm came from the crowd. The Management Consultant waved them down.
"So in order to obviate this problem," he continued, "and effectively revaluate the leaf, we are about to embark on a massive defoliation campaign, and ... er, burn down all the forests. I think you'll all agree that's a sensible move under the circumstances."
The crowd seemed a little uncertain about this for a second or two until someone pointed out how much this would increase the value of the leaves in their pockets whereupon they let out whoops of delight and gave the Management Consultant a standing ovation. The accountants amongst them looked forward to a profitable Autumn.
"You're all mad," explained Ford Prefect.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
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