When you eliminate the impossible...

...whatever remains no matter how improbable must be the truth.

So this evening I walk into the bathroom as the kids are getting ready for bed and I notice that my beard trimmer is on the sink. Odd since I've not used a beard trimmer in a few years... not since I had a beard in fact. Then nigh at hand I spy several, a couple dozen or so, light blond hairs of approximately 2-3 inches in length. I start thinking and of the four people occupying the residence only one to my recollection has light blond hair. I summon the suspect into the bathroom and ask the young man if he has any clue as to whom the hairs might have formerly belonged. He looks at me quizzically and says very simply, "I don't remember getting my hair cut today." "Indeed," I reply. Then I recall to mind an incident not three days previous where the said suspect was disciplined for cutting hair off of the eldest canine with scissors.

"Son," I say, "Are these hairs yours or are they not?"

He looks at me. He looks at the hairs. He actually picks up the hairs and holds them up to his head as if to compare these enigmatic orphans to his existing mop as he gazes into the bathroom mirror. A slightly puzzled furl appears betwixt his light blond eyebrows as the wheels ferociously turn. A mental decision is made. He looks at me and shrugs.

"Yeah those are mine. I think I remember now."

With a simple act of, albeit somewhat coerced, honesty he reduced his sentence from 5 to 2.

Inglorious Basterds

I think making this movie was more than anything an excuse for Quentin to explore what it would look like to carve a swastika into the forehead of a live Nazi... or how good it might feel to watch Adolf get riddled with bullets. The movie could have been called Kill Adolf in fact. Now granted this is a Tarantino film and as such I expected plenty of gratuitous violence and I certainly can't begrudge the indulgence of this revenge fantasy; I just wish it were more entertaining. In Kill Bill there was much better character development and, I felt, more of a solid plot and script (not that Kill Bill was a masterpiece of a screenplay but I am comparing Quentin against Quentin here.)

Now there were some very entertaining/funny moments and a lot of action and violence, but there were also a lot of slow bits that almost but not quite entirely failed to hold my attention. Brad Pitt's character was funny but more like an overdone caricature of an American Southerner... and Brian from The Office convinced me he was a brutal Nazi slayer like my son convinces me of his Judo superiority over everyone in the four state region... poorly.

I give the movie 2 out of 5 stars. It was I suppose worth the $1.08 I payed to Redbox but not much more.

This is a pretty clever cologne design...

Starwars Facebook #2

(courtesy of Gizmodo.com)

Starwars Facebook #1

(courtesy of Gizmodo.com)

The proper way to watch a movie...

We went out and saw 2012 tonight at the Cinema Suites (in the AMC 30 in Olathe) and it was very cool. The movie itself was sort of a 'Day After Tomorrow' on performance enhancing drugs. As with virtually all global disaster flicks it was full of unlikely coincidences and close calls but it was a great movie to set your brain aside and enjoy the thrill. It was really quite an intense movie and felt like one big long chase scene (where John Cusack is being chased by various chunks of earth or a sudden lack of earth or a wall of salt water or goodness gracious great balls of fire... it goes on and on like that for most of it.) That is my quick and to the point movie review. The theater is what I really want to talk about.

DeAnna and I were sitting in the third row from the front in the two center seats which I believe to be the best seats in the house. The seats themselves were extremely comfortable unless you wanted to sit perfectly upright which wasn't possible but once you accepted that you had to lay back a little it was quite nice. Oh and the seats were FULLY reclineable... in fact I thought I was fully reclined the entire movie until after the film ended and I hit the button to sit up I found myself almost completely recumbent as I reclined to the chair's full lazyboy potential and had to figure out which button would get me back on my feet.

It is to be noted that every time you push the recline button, the leather rubbed LOUDLY against the leather of the center partition and the effect was rather like a large mammal with gastroenterological issues. Throughout the movie you would hear the occasional hippo fart and had to (I had to I should say) stifle a chuckle.

The tickets cost $25 but technically that is a $10 movie ticket + $15 food voucher so we thought it was pretty reasonable. The food is about on par with Applebees and actually priced I thought a bit less with most entres costing around $10-11. Of course probably the best part was being able to watch a movie in such comfort with a pint of Blvd wheat in a cold glass. That was a real treat.

All in all not something we will do very often but when the right movie comes along and we get a night out without the kiddos we'll likely find our way back to Cinema Suites. I give it 2 thumbs up!

spy vs spy vs alient vs predator!

Once upon a time I had a subscription to Mad Magazine and used to love Spy vs Spy. I find this a fitting tribute to the spirit of the comic.