When you eliminate the impossible...

...whatever remains no matter how improbable must be the truth.

So this evening I walk into the bathroom as the kids are getting ready for bed and I notice that my beard trimmer is on the sink. Odd since I've not used a beard trimmer in a few years... not since I had a beard in fact. Then nigh at hand I spy several, a couple dozen or so, light blond hairs of approximately 2-3 inches in length. I start thinking and of the four people occupying the residence only one to my recollection has light blond hair. I summon the suspect into the bathroom and ask the young man if he has any clue as to whom the hairs might have formerly belonged. He looks at me quizzically and says very simply, "I don't remember getting my hair cut today." "Indeed," I reply. Then I recall to mind an incident not three days previous where the said suspect was disciplined for cutting hair off of the eldest canine with scissors.

"Son," I say, "Are these hairs yours or are they not?"

He looks at me. He looks at the hairs. He actually picks up the hairs and holds them up to his head as if to compare these enigmatic orphans to his existing mop as he gazes into the bathroom mirror. A slightly puzzled furl appears betwixt his light blond eyebrows as the wheels ferociously turn. A mental decision is made. He looks at me and shrugs.

"Yeah those are mine. I think I remember now."

With a simple act of, albeit somewhat coerced, honesty he reduced his sentence from 5 to 2.

Inglorious Basterds

I think making this movie was more than anything an excuse for Quentin to explore what it would look like to carve a swastika into the forehead of a live Nazi... or how good it might feel to watch Adolf get riddled with bullets. The movie could have been called Kill Adolf in fact. Now granted this is a Tarantino film and as such I expected plenty of gratuitous violence and I certainly can't begrudge the indulgence of this revenge fantasy; I just wish it were more entertaining. In Kill Bill there was much better character development and, I felt, more of a solid plot and script (not that Kill Bill was a masterpiece of a screenplay but I am comparing Quentin against Quentin here.)

Now there were some very entertaining/funny moments and a lot of action and violence, but there were also a lot of slow bits that almost but not quite entirely failed to hold my attention. Brad Pitt's character was funny but more like an overdone caricature of an American Southerner... and Brian from The Office convinced me he was a brutal Nazi slayer like my son convinces me of his Judo superiority over everyone in the four state region... poorly.

I give the movie 2 out of 5 stars. It was I suppose worth the $1.08 I payed to Redbox but not much more.

This is a pretty clever cologne design...