Mission: To install an invisible dog fence.
Requirements: Create a complete circuit around property with buried wire.
Problem: Driveway must be negotiated somehow and existing expansion joints not deep enough to accommodate wire safely.
Solution...
So I go to Home Depot to rent a concrete saw right? Easy enough if you know what you need. Now this is for everyone's future benefit: When the tool rental dude says, "For an extra $8 you can buy a diamond blade OR you can just use the standard blade already on the saw which should work for concrete" -- the correct answer is "Why yes; yes I would in fact like to buy the brand new diamond blade for an extra $8.00. Here's my Visa."
My answer was incorrect. I said, "If the regular blade works then I'll stick with that; after all I am only cutting across a driveway." What I actually said without realizing it was this, "No thank you, I will take the cheap-ass blade that wasn't really designed for quality concrete cuts and has as a side note already been used by at least one other renter for who knows what purpose for who knows how many hours. Here's my Visa."
It turns out the used blade was for lack of a better word, or rather for lack of any motivation to find a better word, poopy.
Here is a quick rundown of my learning experience (and yes I did adapt quite well and quite frequently... ... ...)
Part One
- Make a chalk line at the end of the driveway for the cut
- Plug in heavy duty extension cord in garage and stretch it out with the saw plugged into it only to find it is about 24" too short to reach the whole cut.
- Find another extension cord and add it to the chain.
- Start cutting
- Remember that I bought safety goggles and put them on
- Start cutting again... lots of dust... 5" and it stops.
- Sit puzzled for a moment.
- Check outlet (still plugged in)
- Run downstairs and check breaker (that was it!)
- Back outside and start cutting again... 6" and stop. SHITE!
- Run downstairs and flip breaker
- Back outside and start cutting again... 6" and stop. SONUVA!
- Run downstairs and flip breaker
- Back outside and start cutting again... 6" and stop. MOTHER(%$#%JACK(*&!F%^&PUSSBUCKET!!!
- Fume for a moment
- wipe sweat off of brow
- Realize that surge protectors have a built-in breaker; bring one outside and plug the saw in directly.
- Start cutting again... 6" and stop. HA HA! Reach over triumphantly and hit reset
- Start cutting again... 6" and stop. HA HA! Reach over triumphantly and hit reset
- Start cutting again... 6" and stop. HA HA! Reach over triumphantly and hit reset
- Man this is dusty... wipe sweat, err, concrete paste from my brow.
- Suddenly I see a label half covered with concrete grime on the saw that says "ALWAYS PUL@@@@@@@OWARD@@@@@@@@@"
- I wipe the grime away to see that I have been pushing the saw forward instead of pulling it towards me. %&@$*&!@%$*&%$*&%@*&@#%%&*$%&@#!!!
- Go to the opposite side of the drive and start again hoping against hope that I will meet the line I have already cut.
Part Two: The Other Side
- Start cutting... 1" stop. reset. 1" stop. reset. 1" stop. reset. WTF???
- Notice that the wingnut holding the blade depth in place is loose and the blade is cutting 6" deep instead of 2" which I had set earlier. Fix it back at 2"
- Start cutting again... 6" and stop. HA HA! Reach over triumphantly and hit reset
- Start cutting again... 6" and stop. HA HA! Reach over triumphantly and hit reset
- Start cutting again... 6" and stop. HA HA! Reach over triumphantly and hit reset
- Start cutting again... 6" and stop. HA HA! Reach over triumphantly and hit reset
Man it is really difficult pulling it to me because the saw is now spitting dust literally right into my face.
- Get an idea... run inside and get a box fan to also plug into power strip... turn fan on high and point at saw.
- Start cutting again... YES IT WORKS!!! WOO HOO ... 3" and stop. Hhhhhhhhhh... fan loses me 3" of progress.
-Start cutting again veeeeery slooooowly. 10" after about 30 seconds then stop.
- Basically repeat this very slow cutting and I actually finish and unbelievably I hit the line on the other side almost perfectly.
- Take shower
- Return saw to Home Depot
- Blog about it so all my friends can ruthlessly mock my inability to do anything like this right the first time.
5 comments:
Not many people can do anything right the first time. Sounds like you did a good job. Funny and typical when doing a home project.
Next time, figure out what else is on the breaker and unplug them. That may get you some more juice. I have 20 amp breakers in my garage...not that it'll help you much way over there...
heh heh... oh man this is funny. Holy crap I am laughing at myself right at this moment actually out loud. Instead of going to the other side of the driveway and starting a new cut... I could have just turned around and continued the initial cut by pulling the saw toward me. I think I was too agitated and dust covered to think clearly.
LOL! That's great- very well written. If misery loves company then I can offer you consolation in telling you about my current project in "tile purgatory". How many times can tile be laid in the same place? Depending on how much "extra" backer board you have, infinitely. Someday, I'll get it right... I will win... I will be victorious!!!
I have some friends that have one of those fences and it only works for one of their dogs. Go figure it's the jumper that has the issue.
Actually the fence is to prevent digging. I have already extended the fence with metal mesh to 5'. However since then my dog has learned the art of digging and my hope is that since digging takes time, he won't be hanging around in the zap zone long enough to dig a hole under the fence.
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